The $50 Lesson: a joke with a real life lesson —)

The $50 Lesson

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard,
my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their
dog.

During our friendly conversation, I asked their 12 year old daughter
what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be
President some day.

Both of her parents – liberal Democrats – were standing there, so I
asked her, “If you were President what would be the first thing you
would do?”

She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.”

Her parents beamed with pride!

“Wow…what a worthy goal!” I said. “But you don’t have to wait until
you’re President to do that!” I told her.

“What do you mean?” she replied.

So I told her, “You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull
weeds, and trim my hedge, and I’ll pay you $50. Then you can go over
to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can
give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.”

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight
in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do
the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

I said, “Welcome to the Republican Party.”

Her parents aren’t speaking to me.

3 friends from church were asked….

Three friends from the  local congregation were asked,
 “When you’re in your  casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you,  what would you like them to say?”

Artie said, “I would  like them to say I was a wonderful husband,  a fine spiritual leader,  and a great family man.”

Eugene commented, “I would  like them to say I was a wonderful teacher  and servant of God who  made a huge difference in people’s lives.”

Larry said,  ”I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”

The Arrogance of Authority

               The Arrogance of Authority

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.
He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.”
The rancher said, “Okay , but don’t go in that field over there…..”, as he pointed out the location

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, “ Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !”
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
“See this badge?!  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…. On any land !! 
No questions asked or answers given!!  Have I made myself clear……do you understand ?!!”

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull……

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety  The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs…..                

(I just love this part….)

“Your badge, show him your BADGE…….. ! !”